The Royal Palace of Caserta and Mr. Gobby

Giovanna was still cross with me the next morning. “If the English find people being cut up funny, then there must be something wrong with them.” I wasn’t putting up with that. “Excuse me, but in that room there was also a German and an Austrian. And they were laughing too. And it would have

A Disastrous Recruit and a Sense of Humour Failure

Interviews for new teaching staff were held in Cheltenham, a stroke of luck for me, as my parents lived in a village just six miles away, meaning that I could combine business and pleasure, spending a few days with family and friends, interviewing during the afternoon and enjoying a pint of bitter with Colonel Jim

Promotion

My boss had called me into his office first thing Monday morning. What on earth could he want? Perhaps he wanted to know exactly what had happened to Kevin? Maybe I had upset him in some way? Or had a student complained about me? It was always so difficult to tell whether Neapolitans were happy

Place of Good Events – a trip to Benevento

Steve was absolutely spot on. Mick was, indeed, a prick. And an incomprehensible prick as well. From the moment, he came crashing through the front door with his ludicrous bandana and silly goatee beard, effing, blinding and screaming “Och aye the noo” – or whatever – I decided that I would save an awful lot

An Alcoholic – Part 2

“Hello?” A man’s voice answered. “Er, hello? Are you the father of Kevin?” “Yes. Who’s that?” “Er, I’m a friend of Kevin’s from Naples. I’m afraid there’s been a bit of a problem, sir.” There was a pause. Then, “Go on,” in the manner of someone who knew exactly what was coming. “Well, …” I

An Alcoholic – Part 1

The time came closer for Nick, Bimbo and Roger to depart. Roger had a nice little job lined up teaching geography in a Welsh grammar school. I wondered, gleefully, how the parents would react if they realized that their offsprings’ education were in the hands of a crazed wankaholic. Bimbo hadn’t managed to learn more

Baia, Bacoli and Cumae

I was sitting reading the newspaper in my bedroom the next morning when Nick burst in, carrying two bottles of cold Peroni and a bread roll. “Hey!” he said cheerfully. “How would you like to win the ‘good bloke of the year’ award? I’ll give you two bottles of Peroni and …,” he tossed the bread

Another Party, a Concert and a Fun-Fair

It took me until the following Wednesday to pluck up the courage to phone Giovanna. I was terrified that she wouldn’t remember who I was, or that she had deliberately written down the wrong number, or that she would tell me to piss off or …. 101 scenarios, each one worse than the last, played

Chickening Out of a Game of Soccer

“Hell’s Bollocks! How can you watch that stuff first thing in the morning, Roger?” I asked, gazing in horror at the TV screen in the corner of the kitchen. “Watch this bit!” said Roger biting cheerfully into a chocolate croissant. “This is my favourite bit; really disgusting! Watch!” “Good grief!” I turned back to the

A Boys’ Trip to Ischia

With the coming of the summer months came a changing of the guard at the school in which I worked. After months, years even, of threatening, many of the moaning minnies I had been working with over the previous year went back to the UK to find “proper jobs”. Both Pete and Jeremy left and