An Alcoholic – Part 2

“Hello?” A man’s voice answered. “Er, hello? Are you the father of Kevin?” “Yes. Who’s that?” “Er, I’m a friend of Kevin’s from Naples. I’m afraid there’s been a bit of a problem, sir.” There was a pause. Then, “Go on,” in the manner of someone who knew exactly what was coming. “Well, …” I

An Alcoholic – Part 1

The time came closer for Nick, Bimbo and Roger to depart. Roger had a nice little job lined up teaching geography in a Welsh grammar school. I wondered, gleefully, how the parents would react if they realized that their offsprings’ education were in the hands of a crazed wankaholic. Bimbo hadn’t managed to learn more

Baia, Bacoli and Cumae

I was sitting reading the newspaper in my bedroom the next morning when Nick burst in, carrying two bottles of cold Peroni and a bread roll. “Hey!” he said cheerfully. “How would you like to win the ‘good bloke of the year’ award? I’ll give you two bottles of Peroni and …,” he tossed the bread

Another Party, a Concert and a Fun-Fair

It took me until the following Wednesday to pluck up the courage to phone Giovanna. I was terrified that she wouldn’t remember who I was, or that she had deliberately written down the wrong number, or that she would tell me to piss off or …. 101 scenarios, each one worse than the last, played

Miracles

The duomo or cathedral of Naples, is the sort of church that makes Protestants, and my old friends the Jehovah’s Witnesses, very much ill at ease. Packed to the rafters with the sort of relics and images that lead to accusations of idolatry and even corruption, it has been known to make even hardened Catholics

Chickening Out of a Game of Soccer

“Hell’s Bollocks! How can you watch that stuff first thing in the morning, Roger?” I asked, gazing in horror at the TV screen in the corner of the kitchen. “Watch this bit!” said Roger biting cheerfully into a chocolate croissant. “This is my favourite bit; really disgusting! Watch!” “Good grief!” I turned back to the

A Boys’ Trip to Ischia

With the coming of the summer months came a changing of the guard at the school in which I worked. After months, years even, of threatening, many of the moaning minnies I had been working with over the previous year went back to the UK to find “proper jobs”. Both Pete and Jeremy left and

Here Comes the Sun!

Summer comes suddenly in Southern Italy. You go to bed one evening in your pyjamas, or whatever attire you may favour in bed, pull the sheet up to your neck and drift off to z-land, just as you do every other night, and then wake up at dawn to find that you have kicked the

A Neapolitan Election

Back in November, a high-profile election had taken place in Naples. The contest had been for the position of mayor and was fought between Alessandra Mussolini, granddaughter of Benito and former topless model, and a grey-haired Communist Party apparatchik by the name of Antonio Bassolino. Mussolini was a provocative character, fiery and defensive. Bassolino, at

A Difficult But Rewarding Teaching Job

With February safely out the way, my mood, along with that of my colleagues and the Neapolitans in general, seemed to improve almost tangibly. Not that the weather had improved much. It was still raining more often than not, but there was a general feeling that the worst had come and gone. To cheer me up